It is kind of sad to see the class falling apart. The girls has always been close, with or without me. I have no right to comment anything, though. But.. this is something that I feel deep inside. My own personal opinion.
Honestly, I never like the girls. I don't feel easy in their presence. I became dumb and silly with them. I don't know how to react to be the real me when I'm with them. I just feel as helpless as a baby. We don't click, that's it. That's why we are not in a clique. We don't mingle and, we don't share and talk much. We are just merely classmates. However hard I try, it really makes no difference. Thus, I give up.
I don't see much point in being with them. I don't get it why must I try to hard just in order to fit into their shoes. I really don't understand.
Today, I don't really know what happened between them. But.. the strains are seen. Some are avoiding some. There are cracks here and there. The atmosphere sounds tense. People are just faking around, anyway.
I know I'm kind of slow as a person. Even though I appear to be normal and smart in thinking perhaps, but there are really tons that I don't know. Often, my mind went whirling when people talks. Cos.. most of the time, I really don't get what they are talking about. I laughed cos they laughed. But, I don't dare to voice out, cos I know I'm not in their frequency levels of talk.
Thus, I kept quiet.
Normally, I like to talk. I'm a very talkative girl. I will just for hours and hours. But gradually, I began to feel that growing up can make one silent and stun. I'm quite lost, though. I have noble ambitions, too. But.. people will just laugh and say it's impossible for me. But, this is wrong. I'm going to prove to others. I'm not going to be that kan chiong spider, anymore. I will be a more steady spider. I will catch up with my pace. I will learn from mistakes and others. ( :
On the very first day of school, I heard 2 girls laughing at me. One was laughing and the other one was saying she knew what she was laughing at. And.. they were looking at me. Maybe I think too much. But, I think it somewhat, somehow has got something to do with me. And, the worse thing is they were standing right in front of me and my another classmate. The 3 of them were talking to my friend. I don't know if I react too much. But.. i guess. I will just pretend nothing happened. I'm dumb, but I'm dumb for my own likeness. I'm perfectly fine.
I know that.
I heard from Mui. School is dreaded boring. Actually, mine sucks too. It's really tedious and not fun at all. Boring, boring and boring! Everybody were like asking me how's school and stuff like that. And.. i'm also kind of sian, too. I don't hate school. After all, the school fees paid are so much, though. Money. A great sum of it. The hope of getting into a varsity never disappear right from the start. I'm still aiming it. Admist my grumbles and complains, I still want to work hard and strive for a degree. I want and I will. I trust myself.
Projects have started. And.. I got straight away into groups with someone whom I don't like. Not say don't like, but I don't click with these people. I have chosen the wrong I&E and ended up with people not my type. We are supposed to do a mini environmental project. I was suggesting a nature hiking trip or cycling at Ubin. They were like pinpointing all the way saying I wanna kill them, etc. I'm not angry, but if you wanna have something like green boardgames, say out your ideas. If you don't want this and that, tell me what you want. Don't just act like prince or princess. This is a school, not a playground or palace. And.. this is Singapore. I hope that they understand.
I like doing projects with people who really put in efforts. I don't like those with meti-extreme accents. They speak weird and don't do their parts. Sadly to sad, I have 2 projects with this another classmate of mine. Oh well, I will work hard myself with my another partner.
In conclusion.. No choice, group work = business. Sometimes, you just can't avoid nonsense. This is life, anyway. All I have to do is finish my part as a team member and I'll score well. That's what I care, though. Nothing more.
Another thing. I hate doing things which are irritating. Right from the start ever since I joined ERS, I never really enjoyed myself. I do, but most of the time I didn't. Cos.. i'm doing things which get on both my and others' nerves. It's irritaing to keep sms and call people to go for events. Why can't they just check their emails? Why? It's just a click away. You people can sign in to MSN and talk, etc. Yet, you can't check your emails. It's tiring to be a HR head. It's tiring. Soemmore, I still have to study, work and help out at home. I really hate my job. I wanna quit, but people keep saying don't quit don't quit. I get tired, really. I'm sad to see people's initiatives at such low levels. People are just so disappointing. I have wasted all my time and money, all along. ERS makes my phone bills explode. It's sad to have people backout last minute when their friends are not going. It's not fair, you know. How will you react if you are the organiser? I'm really at my loss end. Now.. i have to get people to go for that briefing tomorrow when me myself can't even go. I end class at 5pm and I will rush down to work cos it starts at 6pm. Saturday's meeting is also invalid as I'm working. It's like I'm not going then I still ask people to go even though I'm not the chairperson of meeting. I have to get the movie's numbers by today too. Really shit.
Ninjado is much more fun. All I have to do is to train, train and train myself. I ahve slacked too much. That's why I vomited during Monday's training. I feel more tired easily, now. I'm getting lazier and weaker at the same time. I wanna boost my morality up again. I mustn't fall like this, never. I will try more of my best. I don't want Jin Quan, especially to feel that we are not trainign hard. He's the one who enlightens me most of the time. LOL. ( :
Ok la. I talked too much already. ( :
Honestly, I never like the girls. I don't feel easy in their presence. I became dumb and silly with them. I don't know how to react to be the real me when I'm with them. I just feel as helpless as a baby. We don't click, that's it. That's why we are not in a clique. We don't mingle and, we don't share and talk much. We are just merely classmates. However hard I try, it really makes no difference. Thus, I give up.
I don't see much point in being with them. I don't get it why must I try to hard just in order to fit into their shoes. I really don't understand.
Today, I don't really know what happened between them. But.. the strains are seen. Some are avoiding some. There are cracks here and there. The atmosphere sounds tense. People are just faking around, anyway.
I know I'm kind of slow as a person. Even though I appear to be normal and smart in thinking perhaps, but there are really tons that I don't know. Often, my mind went whirling when people talks. Cos.. most of the time, I really don't get what they are talking about. I laughed cos they laughed. But, I don't dare to voice out, cos I know I'm not in their frequency levels of talk.
Thus, I kept quiet.
Normally, I like to talk. I'm a very talkative girl. I will just for hours and hours. But gradually, I began to feel that growing up can make one silent and stun. I'm quite lost, though. I have noble ambitions, too. But.. people will just laugh and say it's impossible for me. But, this is wrong. I'm going to prove to others. I'm not going to be that kan chiong spider, anymore. I will be a more steady spider. I will catch up with my pace. I will learn from mistakes and others. ( :
On the very first day of school, I heard 2 girls laughing at me. One was laughing and the other one was saying she knew what she was laughing at. And.. they were looking at me. Maybe I think too much. But, I think it somewhat, somehow has got something to do with me. And, the worse thing is they were standing right in front of me and my another classmate. The 3 of them were talking to my friend. I don't know if I react too much. But.. i guess. I will just pretend nothing happened. I'm dumb, but I'm dumb for my own likeness. I'm perfectly fine.
I know that.
I heard from Mui. School is dreaded boring. Actually, mine sucks too. It's really tedious and not fun at all. Boring, boring and boring! Everybody were like asking me how's school and stuff like that. And.. i'm also kind of sian, too. I don't hate school. After all, the school fees paid are so much, though. Money. A great sum of it. The hope of getting into a varsity never disappear right from the start. I'm still aiming it. Admist my grumbles and complains, I still want to work hard and strive for a degree. I want and I will. I trust myself.
Projects have started. And.. I got straight away into groups with someone whom I don't like. Not say don't like, but I don't click with these people. I have chosen the wrong I&E and ended up with people not my type. We are supposed to do a mini environmental project. I was suggesting a nature hiking trip or cycling at Ubin. They were like pinpointing all the way saying I wanna kill them, etc. I'm not angry, but if you wanna have something like green boardgames, say out your ideas. If you don't want this and that, tell me what you want. Don't just act like prince or princess. This is a school, not a playground or palace. And.. this is Singapore. I hope that they understand.
I like doing projects with people who really put in efforts. I don't like those with meti-extreme accents. They speak weird and don't do their parts. Sadly to sad, I have 2 projects with this another classmate of mine. Oh well, I will work hard myself with my another partner.
In conclusion.. No choice, group work = business. Sometimes, you just can't avoid nonsense. This is life, anyway. All I have to do is finish my part as a team member and I'll score well. That's what I care, though. Nothing more.
Another thing. I hate doing things which are irritating. Right from the start ever since I joined ERS, I never really enjoyed myself. I do, but most of the time I didn't. Cos.. i'm doing things which get on both my and others' nerves. It's irritaing to keep sms and call people to go for events. Why can't they just check their emails? Why? It's just a click away. You people can sign in to MSN and talk, etc. Yet, you can't check your emails. It's tiring to be a HR head. It's tiring. Soemmore, I still have to study, work and help out at home. I really hate my job. I wanna quit, but people keep saying don't quit don't quit. I get tired, really. I'm sad to see people's initiatives at such low levels. People are just so disappointing. I have wasted all my time and money, all along. ERS makes my phone bills explode. It's sad to have people backout last minute when their friends are not going. It's not fair, you know. How will you react if you are the organiser? I'm really at my loss end. Now.. i have to get people to go for that briefing tomorrow when me myself can't even go. I end class at 5pm and I will rush down to work cos it starts at 6pm. Saturday's meeting is also invalid as I'm working. It's like I'm not going then I still ask people to go even though I'm not the chairperson of meeting. I have to get the movie's numbers by today too. Really shit.
Ninjado is much more fun. All I have to do is to train, train and train myself. I ahve slacked too much. That's why I vomited during Monday's training. I feel more tired easily, now. I'm getting lazier and weaker at the same time. I wanna boost my morality up again. I mustn't fall like this, never. I will try more of my best. I don't want Jin Quan, especially to feel that we are not trainign hard. He's the one who enlightens me most of the time. LOL. ( :
Ok la. I talked too much already. ( :
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