I woke up feeling hard.
Recently, I'm really, really not feeling well at well. I get the slightest giddiness. Heachaches keep catching up with me, too. Often, I also feel naseous. Things are really not going right. I keep having mood swings. If you talk to me, I might even be thinking of a plot to murder you. Can you please just shut the hell up?
I'm really crazy.
I wonder what's wrong?
Seriously, I get irritated nowadays. Maybe I''m feeling stressed all over. Or rather, I'm getting tired of life. I keep asking me, ''Why, why and why?".
I'm going insane, soon.
This is very rare. I don't like myself to fly in a temper. It makes me a totally different person than before. As a result, I will be a bloody fiery girl. This is so.. Oh well.
The moment I looked around, I will just spell words under my breathe. One word. Those significantly decorated 'F' characters. I'm just getting out of hand. I'm so darn tired. Everyday, I have to wake up feeling handy. I had to ensure that I didn't forget to do something. I had check my mails at all time. I can't afford to miss out any details of ERS events. I had to confirm if there's any test on the day itself. I had to do this and that. Worse, I had to cover up for other people, too. I always had to help others. 'Cos I'm obliged to?
Friends are friends. Worse still, we are merely just acquaintances. I don't even yearn to see them. It's so darn shit. Sometimes, I really feel like killing every single of the people I don't like. I want to the slyest creature on earth. I want to create a major unforgettable tragedy in Singapore. I want everyone to remember this evil and cunning witch like me. I want to be the most despicable and vemonous character. I want to surplus and rise to the top. I am the ultimate ruler. Everyone shall die before me. They will. And they ought to.
Once again, this is just a facade. How can I possibly do all these kind of things? I just to win the government, too. I want to rule the nation. I want the next biggest shot ever. I want people to idolise me. I want people to look up, upon me. I want and I will. Right now, I am reverted back to the square. I'm not round and I will never be.
Sometimes, I simply loathe the sight of everyone. I'm just too tired to even think of them. I want myself - the one and only. I shall own everything.
I really hope to stop thinking like now. If not, I will be a most annoying person ever. I can forgo all my pride and prevent inferiority complex from overcoming me. But.. Will I be able to? I never expect I will be successful, oneday. 'Cos it's so, so, so hard. I will need tons and tons of time to do that. I will need myself to prove myself. Only I can decide my own fate. I depend on myself.
I have to stop assuming that people are looking at me evrywhere, anywhere I go. I have to stop thinking I look weird. I have to stop thinking that I'm dumb and slow. I have to stop thinking that I can't be famous. I have to stop thinking that I'm fat and useless. I have to stop thinking that I'm unattractive and pesty. I have to stop thinking I'm what I'm right now.
I JUST HAVE TO STOP THINKING THAT I'M MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF.
If not, I will always be a laughing stock 52 weeks or 365 days a year. I don't want to. Other than grumbling, I do have other qualities too. But.. It's just that you guys don't even realised yet.
"Stop hurting my feelings, will you? If not, just scram and take a look at yourselves in the mirror. Please don't drag other innocent parties like me. If you want to die, go and die alone. Nobody will care about the bitches and bastards anymore. Get the hell out. I hope you get a real fucking life out there. You guys might have all things now. But, you are losers. I hate the attitudes and manners of your life. I will stop thinking of you people. Instead, I will be a better person. I feel better after screaming at you all here. This is a private place for me to curse and swear at you."
I just thought of saying all these just now. I just get irritated at those people who think that they are always so pretty, cute or handsome. Call me petty or jealous. I don't even care. I do envy people for having a partner in their lives now. I do envy people for their smart brains. I do envy people for their looks and figures too. I do envy people for their amazing lucks too. I do envy people who have so, so, so many friends.
Just a thought.
I need to let out the inner myself, once in a while.
Tomorrow will definitely be a better day. I will tell myself from today onwards. I have a happy family. I have true friends. I have a character I like myself to have. I'm unique. I believe so. I'm already a winner. Thank you very much.
Recently, I'm really, really not feeling well at well. I get the slightest giddiness. Heachaches keep catching up with me, too. Often, I also feel naseous. Things are really not going right. I keep having mood swings. If you talk to me, I might even be thinking of a plot to murder you. Can you please just shut the hell up?
I'm really crazy.
I wonder what's wrong?
Seriously, I get irritated nowadays. Maybe I''m feeling stressed all over. Or rather, I'm getting tired of life. I keep asking me, ''Why, why and why?".
I'm going insane, soon.
This is very rare. I don't like myself to fly in a temper. It makes me a totally different person than before. As a result, I will be a bloody fiery girl. This is so.. Oh well.
The moment I looked around, I will just spell words under my breathe. One word. Those significantly decorated 'F' characters. I'm just getting out of hand. I'm so darn tired. Everyday, I have to wake up feeling handy. I had to ensure that I didn't forget to do something. I had check my mails at all time. I can't afford to miss out any details of ERS events. I had to confirm if there's any test on the day itself. I had to do this and that. Worse, I had to cover up for other people, too. I always had to help others. 'Cos I'm obliged to?
Friends are friends. Worse still, we are merely just acquaintances. I don't even yearn to see them. It's so darn shit. Sometimes, I really feel like killing every single of the people I don't like. I want to the slyest creature on earth. I want to create a major unforgettable tragedy in Singapore. I want everyone to remember this evil and cunning witch like me. I want to be the most despicable and vemonous character. I want to surplus and rise to the top. I am the ultimate ruler. Everyone shall die before me. They will. And they ought to.
Once again, this is just a facade. How can I possibly do all these kind of things? I just to win the government, too. I want to rule the nation. I want the next biggest shot ever. I want people to idolise me. I want people to look up, upon me. I want and I will. Right now, I am reverted back to the square. I'm not round and I will never be.
Sometimes, I simply loathe the sight of everyone. I'm just too tired to even think of them. I want myself - the one and only. I shall own everything.
I really hope to stop thinking like now. If not, I will be a most annoying person ever. I can forgo all my pride and prevent inferiority complex from overcoming me. But.. Will I be able to? I never expect I will be successful, oneday. 'Cos it's so, so, so hard. I will need tons and tons of time to do that. I will need myself to prove myself. Only I can decide my own fate. I depend on myself.
I have to stop assuming that people are looking at me evrywhere, anywhere I go. I have to stop thinking I look weird. I have to stop thinking that I'm dumb and slow. I have to stop thinking that I can't be famous. I have to stop thinking that I'm fat and useless. I have to stop thinking that I'm unattractive and pesty. I have to stop thinking I'm what I'm right now.
I JUST HAVE TO STOP THINKING THAT I'M MAKING A FOOL OF MYSELF.
If not, I will always be a laughing stock 52 weeks or 365 days a year. I don't want to. Other than grumbling, I do have other qualities too. But.. It's just that you guys don't even realised yet.
"Stop hurting my feelings, will you? If not, just scram and take a look at yourselves in the mirror. Please don't drag other innocent parties like me. If you want to die, go and die alone. Nobody will care about the bitches and bastards anymore. Get the hell out. I hope you get a real fucking life out there. You guys might have all things now. But, you are losers. I hate the attitudes and manners of your life. I will stop thinking of you people. Instead, I will be a better person. I feel better after screaming at you all here. This is a private place for me to curse and swear at you."
I just thought of saying all these just now. I just get irritated at those people who think that they are always so pretty, cute or handsome. Call me petty or jealous. I don't even care. I do envy people for having a partner in their lives now. I do envy people for their smart brains. I do envy people for their looks and figures too. I do envy people for their amazing lucks too. I do envy people who have so, so, so many friends.
Just a thought.
I need to let out the inner myself, once in a while.
Tomorrow will definitely be a better day. I will tell myself from today onwards. I have a happy family. I have true friends. I have a character I like myself to have. I'm unique. I believe so. I'm already a winner. Thank you very much.
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