Sometimes, I wonder if I really think too much.
But.. I always have this feeling. Most of the time, it seems accurate. Oh well. Things are never as lovely as I thought they would be. Somebody is bound to appear out of the blue. He or she will destroy everything. 'Cos nothing is perfect.
Like other girls, I do like to fall in love too. I longed to be loved, adored and cared for. But, why? Why do I always stray off like this? I retreated the moment when I'm closer to a guy. I never feel easy. I keep having the creeps. I give out every signal of 'get lost'. So, what do I want?
I can't stang myself. I can't help it by degrading myself at all times. Since young, I have always been feeling like this. The word is - LOUSY. No matter what I do, I seem to be at the losing end. I'm always being jeered. I feel that people are always looking me with merciless and, strange eyes. What's wrong, then?
Is there anything wrong with me? If not, why do I feel so low? Why can't I even have a littlw, bit of confidence in myself? I seem to lose myself. Am I blind? I'm so scared, you know. Everytime I tries to pull myself up, there will be this someone to push me down, again. They fear that I will rise up. Hence, they pinned me down before I even try to think of getting up.
Actually, the logic is very simple. But, I tend to complicate things. 'Cos I linked many, different things together. I'm extremely vexed, now. Seriously, I don't know what else to do. Neither did I expect too much, nor demand for the impossible. I'm just stuck in that fate of MINE.
I used to believe in first love at sight, and as such. Now, I don't. I know what boys are looking for. I'm NOT into one of their categories. I even have difficulties meeting normal, good friends. I'm just so anti-social. Honestly, I don't like to expose too much to the outside world. I'm just a small figure only. I have no say in anything. I'm always being led by others through the nose. Am I just so useless? Why?
I'm an introvert. The worst of the worse. Sometimes, I can't even stand myself. I'm petty, greedy, kiasu, kiasi, evil, sill, idiotic, slow in thinking, boring, lame, fat, ugly, someone who can't speak properly, etc.
Why do I care so much, when people don't even care?
Why?
There are lots more to say.
Really.
I'm just so tired, forever. Am I really beyond cure? I don't want. I have no ill intentions. But, why do I receive all these treatments? If you treat people good, he or she does not necessarily need to reciprocate your 'good' feelings. There is no need for that. In their eyes, I'm just a nobody.
A really, really, REAL nobody.
Oh well..
But.. I always have this feeling. Most of the time, it seems accurate. Oh well. Things are never as lovely as I thought they would be. Somebody is bound to appear out of the blue. He or she will destroy everything. 'Cos nothing is perfect.
Like other girls, I do like to fall in love too. I longed to be loved, adored and cared for. But, why? Why do I always stray off like this? I retreated the moment when I'm closer to a guy. I never feel easy. I keep having the creeps. I give out every signal of 'get lost'. So, what do I want?
I can't stang myself. I can't help it by degrading myself at all times. Since young, I have always been feeling like this. The word is - LOUSY. No matter what I do, I seem to be at the losing end. I'm always being jeered. I feel that people are always looking me with merciless and, strange eyes. What's wrong, then?
Is there anything wrong with me? If not, why do I feel so low? Why can't I even have a littlw, bit of confidence in myself? I seem to lose myself. Am I blind? I'm so scared, you know. Everytime I tries to pull myself up, there will be this someone to push me down, again. They fear that I will rise up. Hence, they pinned me down before I even try to think of getting up.
Actually, the logic is very simple. But, I tend to complicate things. 'Cos I linked many, different things together. I'm extremely vexed, now. Seriously, I don't know what else to do. Neither did I expect too much, nor demand for the impossible. I'm just stuck in that fate of MINE.
I used to believe in first love at sight, and as such. Now, I don't. I know what boys are looking for. I'm NOT into one of their categories. I even have difficulties meeting normal, good friends. I'm just so anti-social. Honestly, I don't like to expose too much to the outside world. I'm just a small figure only. I have no say in anything. I'm always being led by others through the nose. Am I just so useless? Why?
I'm an introvert. The worst of the worse. Sometimes, I can't even stand myself. I'm petty, greedy, kiasu, kiasi, evil, sill, idiotic, slow in thinking, boring, lame, fat, ugly, someone who can't speak properly, etc.
Why do I care so much, when people don't even care?
Why?
There are lots more to say.
Really.
I'm just so tired, forever. Am I really beyond cure? I don't want. I have no ill intentions. But, why do I receive all these treatments? If you treat people good, he or she does not necessarily need to reciprocate your 'good' feelings. There is no need for that. In their eyes, I'm just a nobody.
A really, really, REAL nobody.
Oh well..
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