Times really passed. School's going to start, again next week, in the blink of an eye. And.. I will have to drag myself to that world of pretence. Oh how lovely. Somehow, I just hope I can vanish into the thin air, right now. I'm so darned DEAD tired.
The JB camp was alright. It was like alright. As usual, I know many people. But.. I'm never the social type. I'm just an empty shell; so quiet and JUST quiet AGAIN. Unlike others, I don't mind silence. I can stay like that for as long as I like. I do LIKE to talk. But, I wouldn't if I don't feel like to.
Honestly, I don't like about camps. 'Cos they have always been the same. Since young, this WHOLE idea just struck me.. completely BLANK. And..
The MAIN reason is - IT'S SO DARNED FAKE!
Occasionally, I will wave and say hi if I 'happen' to meet these camp friends within the school compound. Other than that, I guess I wouldn't be bothered. It will just be a BIG good-bye to them. (Or rather, in any other ways.)
Actually, I'm quite selfish and inner-oriented. I'm sorry, but I'm just like THIS. Ops.. Sheesh. Sometimes, i just can't help it by saying all these craps. I know they are bullshits, though.
In my opinion, I think that the main objective of the camp isn't there at all. 'Cos.. FIRST, there are 107 ccas in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. SECOND, Environmental Rangers Society is a club with no skills at all. People were already looking us in a weird way. Like I say, the name of the club always speak itself. It's FUNNY to have such club existing. Let alone all those management people?
Also, for Ninja-do. Honestly with NO offence, I wonder what the hell is going on. I have no conflicts with all martial arts groups. I'm NOT as indifferent as those historical people from the past. I have no wish to know of what exactly happened to strike off the bad flames between Tae-kwan-do and Ninja-do. WHAT I want to know is WHY isn't Mark OR Derrick doing anything? I know they are NOT bothered. But, don't they feel disorganised? Actually, there are tons that they don't know. I just don't want the club to shrink anymore. I know we can't afford to lose any of our LOYAL members.
I'm an extremely paronoid person. I get worried over every single little details, OR things. I'm a deep and extra thinker. I'm just being TOO overly sensitive to comments being passed around. I'm a snob. It's sad, you know?
I merely just WANT to be a better person; to be respected, loved and cared by others. I wanted to do many other things. But, i jutst can't.. My strengths are limited. I'm just a human, after all. That's the most crucial fact.
I belong to the feminine's side. Naturally, I will act cute, especially in front of opposite sexes. I'm NOT implying that I like to flirt or I'M now. It's just that I always got this STRANGE feeling, la. Maybe once again.. I think TOO, TOO, TOO much. Perhaps.
Hopefully, I'm WRONG la. I don't want to care so much about these, anyway.. I'm far too busy. Oh well..
I keep saying I wnat to be a better person. Yet, I still repeat and commit the SAME mistakes all over AND over, again. Why? Why am I like this? How do I STOP myself from becoming like this? I really wish to see no more. I want to be a sweet and polite girl. I want to be the model girl-next-door whom everybody will take reference of me as a ROLE MODEL. I must get my feelings captured.
So.. From now on, I must/should
The JB camp was alright. It was like alright. As usual, I know many people. But.. I'm never the social type. I'm just an empty shell; so quiet and JUST quiet AGAIN. Unlike others, I don't mind silence. I can stay like that for as long as I like. I do LIKE to talk. But, I wouldn't if I don't feel like to.
Honestly, I don't like about camps. 'Cos they have always been the same. Since young, this WHOLE idea just struck me.. completely BLANK. And..
The MAIN reason is - IT'S SO DARNED FAKE!
Occasionally, I will wave and say hi if I 'happen' to meet these camp friends within the school compound. Other than that, I guess I wouldn't be bothered. It will just be a BIG good-bye to them. (Or rather, in any other ways.)
Actually, I'm quite selfish and inner-oriented. I'm sorry, but I'm just like THIS. Ops.. Sheesh. Sometimes, i just can't help it by saying all these craps. I know they are bullshits, though.
In my opinion, I think that the main objective of the camp isn't there at all. 'Cos.. FIRST, there are 107 ccas in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. SECOND, Environmental Rangers Society is a club with no skills at all. People were already looking us in a weird way. Like I say, the name of the club always speak itself. It's FUNNY to have such club existing. Let alone all those management people?
Also, for Ninja-do. Honestly with NO offence, I wonder what the hell is going on. I have no conflicts with all martial arts groups. I'm NOT as indifferent as those historical people from the past. I have no wish to know of what exactly happened to strike off the bad flames between Tae-kwan-do and Ninja-do. WHAT I want to know is WHY isn't Mark OR Derrick doing anything? I know they are NOT bothered. But, don't they feel disorganised? Actually, there are tons that they don't know. I just don't want the club to shrink anymore. I know we can't afford to lose any of our LOYAL members.
I'm an extremely paronoid person. I get worried over every single little details, OR things. I'm a deep and extra thinker. I'm just being TOO overly sensitive to comments being passed around. I'm a snob. It's sad, you know?
I merely just WANT to be a better person; to be respected, loved and cared by others. I wanted to do many other things. But, i jutst can't.. My strengths are limited. I'm just a human, after all. That's the most crucial fact.
I belong to the feminine's side. Naturally, I will act cute, especially in front of opposite sexes. I'm NOT implying that I like to flirt or I'M now. It's just that I always got this STRANGE feeling, la. Maybe once again.. I think TOO, TOO, TOO much. Perhaps.
Hopefully, I'm WRONG la. I don't want to care so much about these, anyway.. I'm far too busy. Oh well..
I keep saying I wnat to be a better person. Yet, I still repeat and commit the SAME mistakes all over AND over, again. Why? Why am I like this? How do I STOP myself from becoming like this? I really wish to see no more. I want to be a sweet and polite girl. I want to be the model girl-next-door whom everybody will take reference of me as a ROLE MODEL. I must get my feelings captured.
So.. From now on, I must/should
- Stop talking BAD THINGS about people.
- Control my thinking and, behaviours.
- Respect OTHERS.
- Don't talk back or ill of OTHERS.
- Don't flirt with boys and, men.
- Avoid giving people the impression that I also like him/ her.
- Start to SAVE and NOT TO SPEND.
- Save power (lights, etc)
- Don't WASTE food.
- Be a dilligent student who only knows how to study.
- Have MORE confidence in myself.
- I'll add on if I managed to think MORE.
- NEVER be lovesick OR boys' crazy.
- Don't use vulgarities.
- ....
Right now, I'm so tired. My brain has ceased to function long ago. Oh well. I'm sleeping now. Maybe I will add on when I'm free. I miss my mother a lot.
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