smallminded;

"Once, there was a boy named Don.

Don has a big fat nose. All the children made fun of him, and student called Don a Mr. Fat Nose. One day, room 180 was having free time. One girl named Anny saw Don's big fat nose. Then Anny shout out, "HA , HA! Look everybody, Don has a big fat nose." Then Don said, "No I don't have a big...." Then, Don was very sad.

Then Don ran out of the room, and he got in trouble. Don went home and told his mother all about it. While Don was telling his mother about his nose, his mother laughed and said, "Having a big nose is not bad at all."

After his mother told him that, he went back to school, and Don told Anny all about the stuff that his mother told him about his big fat nose. Then, Anny learned a lesson that a big fat nose is not bad. So.. Then on Monday, no one made fun of Don. But, Anny grew a big toe, and she screamed."

Honestly, this is indeed an encouraging story for me. I feel touched. For what, I don't know why. Since young, I have been defeated by this monster called 'inferiority complex'. It makes me feel so tiny as possible. I have often been seen as a small creature. I looked weird. I felt weird - just being myself. I think the whole world is mocking at me. if not, why do I hear all those jeerings all around?

'Cos I'm ugly?

I really don't know. Now, I seem to lost track. Should I say 'completely'? I have tons to say. Yet, I don't remember as much things as before. AND.. Somehow, I'm speechless. I just need to write it down now, though I have nothing in particular to write about.

I want to grow up. I really want to. If not, I will never. I don't want to stick around people. i don't want to be like this. I don't want to be a failure. But.. Why? I'm darn sad now. I want to feel better, that's all. I don't expect much.

I noticed that my inner self is the ultimate culprit to bring me down It always say hurtful and insulting remarks to make me feel sad. I'm not so useless lo. I really hate it, man. I never like being rejected. Let alone by myself. It sounds even sillier. It makes me more maddens. Life is just so sickening!

I'm trying hard, now. Really. I want to defeat that voice inside me. I want to win the battle. I want to be back myself, again. I really want. I just need to. If I'm not going to help myself, nobody is going too. I'm all alone. I have to overcome all obstacles sooner or later. Oh man. how lovely..

Things to do now:-

• Stop thinking I'm fat.
• Admit that I'm not ugly.
• Think that I'm clever.
• Save up to make myself a beautiful hairstyle.
• Wash face regularly.
• Try sleep early to stop eye bags, pimples and dark eye rings.
• Revise my work regularly.
• Strive hard in life.
• Do what I think is important, right now.

That's all. No point in writing down hundreds of them and achieving none of it. I'm working hard now. Please don't disturb. Status: Busy right now.

Best wishes.