smallminded;

I'm so tired.

Sometimes, I really don't even bother to do anything. 'Cos there's like.. No reply?

I realised it's really not easy to be a leader. Moreover, to be a president of a visible club. Even though I'm currently just a lowly Human Resource Head, I can feel the pressure. I feel stressed. The system really ought to change. I think there are limits to one's endurance. But.. People are like just taking advantages of the things that I do.

Worse still, they don't even care.

You think peeople do?

I must understand that it's not a must to join CCA in a polytechnic. People just enter, plainly for the sake of CCA points. It's so obvious, can. I'm really tired. Why don't people just get if for goodness sake? Not everything can be bought with money. Same here, not all events have CCA points. Why can't you just come down for a NO CCA POINT event? Is it that hard? Oh well. I can die to talk to such people.

I didn't expect oo much. I merely want he or she to reply if they are interested or not. It's really so easy. It's not as if their fragile fingers will break by typing a few words. What more about the time they spent on MSN, maple story or any other 'redundant' keyboard activities? It's darn shit man. They should really go and face the wall and think about it. I really can't stand such 'materialistic' people. Honestly, I also join CCA partly 'cos of CCA points. But, I also like the events organised by thta particular CCA or club can.

At least, I'm doing something I like and can get what I want. The sense of achievement and feeling of trying something you have always want to but never had. It's great, really. I enjoyed myself at the NP-Eco camp. Underwater World is really fun and wonderful. Those Pulau Ubin chalets I had with Quan and gang are awesome, too. Ninjado teaches me in terms of mentally, physically and emotionally. Maybe I don't behave as if I learnt a lot. But indeed, I have.

All along, I picked up the leaderships and valuable friendships from others. I have become aimable. I have grown to be more myself. I allowed the society to interact more with me. I really, really learn many, many, many things. I'm thankful for all these. But.. Why? Why are some people just so different? Aha..

Right now, I will have to settle next saturday's event list. If not, I might have to forgo the cycling trip with Xiang and gang. This is so unfair. These days, I realised something. I missed out lots due to ERS commitments. I have to give up many things. I have to miss out those fun and joys. That fall from Ninjado training also leave behind many many aftermaths for me. As a result, I can't do any form of strenous physical activities. I can't even walk at a 'faster' rate. My legs really feel that sharp, acute pain somewhere below my ankle. Oh man.. I can't destress myself like the olden days. I always go and exercise alone when I'm feeling moody or stressed. Now, I juts can't do anything but grumble all day long. I feel useless, you know?

I can't take part in MDE games day. I can't play any ball games. I can't run. I can't jog. I can't sit too long. I can't stand too long. I can't even hop or skip. I can't take any cold drinks. I can't sip any F & N can drinks anymore. I can't eat things I normally eat. I simply can't do loads.

I have no desires, now, seriously. I just want the welfares of both Ninjado and ERS to be excellent. I want my leg to recover soon. I want to do sports again. I want my corn eyes to be gone. I want my kneecaps and elbows to be in good working conditions. I want to go work, again. I want to settle all personal grudges. I want to ensure I get to do the things I want. And.. last but not least, I want to do well for exams.

I want to have a better and happier future.

All the best, to myself.