I guess the only way out for me now, is to work and work and work. And.. i'm still working. Oh yea. Sometimes, it's really better to stay clear of certain things and people. Mm.. i'm not used to my old self, anymore. It gets on my nerves to hear those sighs all over and over again. Oh man. Life can be a chore given in my shoes. Oh oh oh. The best cure is to start life anew and get rid of all the non-existance fairy tales anbd wanna-be bombarding ties. Let's get started with this newly designed, pony-alike and rising reins of style. 3 claps to thee. 4 foot to them. 5 slaps to escape.
It's really sickening to find those whom you think you care to don't give a simple freakign damn about you. It's also tiring to see those things that you often dream, hope, desire that they will never ever come true, to be fulfilled right in front of your eyes. Often, life is misleading. Words and promises are chunks of lies and they come in the form of - packs. Mmm.. Mmm.. Mmm.. How tragic can life ever be? How wonderful can happiness be defined as? How sweet would I be after landing in hot soup? It's foolish to think of ending your beautiful life, indeed. But, it pays thrice or even more to live on and enjoy the thorns and cuts endorsed by this forking dull-picked-up span. It costs a lifetime. It makes a difference. It knows how to curb and disappear.
I have done my sums for my savings. It's really important for me to know when is the right time and hour and space and venue and place. And.. this sets me thinking how are my results and how the rest of the people are doing right now. That day, Jo had managed to hit on most of my nails. Should I say that only smart people know how to do that? Oh oh oh.. say, I hasn't been treated as a fool by them. My tone hasn't been right after all these while. My attitude seriously needs ammendments with tons and lots of what-the-so-called things are.I merely wanted to explain but I was questioned till speechless. But nah, it's ok. At least, now I know what's wrong with the most perfect me. I have lost my rights and flaws. It's impossible for one to stay high uo all the time. A Queen can fail herself, too. Now that all has been turned over, I needa try all means to win my status back. So.. am I on the right path to say this now? Whatever, I just want a wakening splash of paint from head to toe. I seem to lose myself, forever. I can't simply recognised the circumstances, now. I'm just not yet game over, though I'm falling deeper and further and sinking till the unreachable end. My energy are almost gone. I can't see or breathe.
I have to admit that I'm luckier. At least, I have a few bunch of tiny pin pin here and there. The way I am and the personality-cum-characteristics are fully condemned. I have an identity to them. They know that this is me. Oh yea.. yet, I don't think I can trust anyone even myself. All along, I think I'm the almighty daughter of the Lord. I'm infalliable. I'm the ultimate trend-setting-starter. Everybody likes to move and adapt to the manner I'm in. I'm shameless and fully aware of. Nevertheless, I can't seem to put a fullstop to this neverending era. I'm control myself and give a few pats on my back. I try to be nice and I really think I'm a nice girl, lady or person. But, I think nobody gives a damn. I've failed in enrolling myself as a good sister. No matter what I do, I'm always wrong and grouped under that irritating-brat-grumbly-shit to them. I have really wnated to share my sincere love and extend my true self to them. But, they rejected me. They said that they hated me. But, why? At least, give me a brief reason why. I really wanna be a better sister, that's all and I didn't ask for more. But, I'm yet denied of this opportunity. I hate maple production. They corrupted youths' minds and broke down their thinkings into a sytematic programming brook. I swear under my RRR name. I had enough, hadn't I? I had been thrown into the dungeon, again. Just because I'm their sister, I'm obligned to do everything for them? I wanna give out the longest, faster, smelliest, funckiest big big fark to them to them to them. I wanna get away from the pretendence of horrors. I'm scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scaredand scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared..
Rainy seasons are meant to dictate my hearfelt beats. I only look forward to the next outing with the rest. It's time for me to pick up myself from the drains of sorrows. I had to be strong. Money and studies and friends, and 'family', are far more more more important.
"Boy.. all the best. Those 2 years of happy memories can be enough to erase my 5 years of pains and hurt. But, you destroyed them. Nevertheless, I had greater dreams to send me off. You have a girl, but I have boys. Some things are meant to be fated, but never mean to be. You gave me hope and distinguish them in a flame of mist. I hate and thank you for them. I believe there will be another person who will sing, write me poems, draw and tender me with everlasting, loving care. You are the first and last to do that. But, my new chapter commerces from now on. You've lost me, boy. I've won myself, on the other hand.."
It's really sickening to find those whom you think you care to don't give a simple freakign damn about you. It's also tiring to see those things that you often dream, hope, desire that they will never ever come true, to be fulfilled right in front of your eyes. Often, life is misleading. Words and promises are chunks of lies and they come in the form of - packs. Mmm.. Mmm.. Mmm.. How tragic can life ever be? How wonderful can happiness be defined as? How sweet would I be after landing in hot soup? It's foolish to think of ending your beautiful life, indeed. But, it pays thrice or even more to live on and enjoy the thorns and cuts endorsed by this forking dull-picked-up span. It costs a lifetime. It makes a difference. It knows how to curb and disappear.
I have done my sums for my savings. It's really important for me to know when is the right time and hour and space and venue and place. And.. this sets me thinking how are my results and how the rest of the people are doing right now. That day, Jo had managed to hit on most of my nails. Should I say that only smart people know how to do that? Oh oh oh.. say, I hasn't been treated as a fool by them. My tone hasn't been right after all these while. My attitude seriously needs ammendments with tons and lots of what-the-so-called things are.I merely wanted to explain but I was questioned till speechless. But nah, it's ok. At least, now I know what's wrong with the most perfect me. I have lost my rights and flaws. It's impossible for one to stay high uo all the time. A Queen can fail herself, too. Now that all has been turned over, I needa try all means to win my status back. So.. am I on the right path to say this now? Whatever, I just want a wakening splash of paint from head to toe. I seem to lose myself, forever. I can't simply recognised the circumstances, now. I'm just not yet game over, though I'm falling deeper and further and sinking till the unreachable end. My energy are almost gone. I can't see or breathe.
I have to admit that I'm luckier. At least, I have a few bunch of tiny pin pin here and there. The way I am and the personality-cum-characteristics are fully condemned. I have an identity to them. They know that this is me. Oh yea.. yet, I don't think I can trust anyone even myself. All along, I think I'm the almighty daughter of the Lord. I'm infalliable. I'm the ultimate trend-setting-starter. Everybody likes to move and adapt to the manner I'm in. I'm shameless and fully aware of. Nevertheless, I can't seem to put a fullstop to this neverending era. I'm control myself and give a few pats on my back. I try to be nice and I really think I'm a nice girl, lady or person. But, I think nobody gives a damn. I've failed in enrolling myself as a good sister. No matter what I do, I'm always wrong and grouped under that irritating-brat-grumbly-shit to them. I have really wnated to share my sincere love and extend my true self to them. But, they rejected me. They said that they hated me. But, why? At least, give me a brief reason why. I really wanna be a better sister, that's all and I didn't ask for more. But, I'm yet denied of this opportunity. I hate maple production. They corrupted youths' minds and broke down their thinkings into a sytematic programming brook. I swear under my RRR name. I had enough, hadn't I? I had been thrown into the dungeon, again. Just because I'm their sister, I'm obligned to do everything for them? I wanna give out the longest, faster, smelliest, funckiest big big fark to them to them to them. I wanna get away from the pretendence of horrors. I'm scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scaredand scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared and scared..
Rainy seasons are meant to dictate my hearfelt beats. I only look forward to the next outing with the rest. It's time for me to pick up myself from the drains of sorrows. I had to be strong. Money and studies and friends, and 'family', are far more more more important.
"Boy.. all the best. Those 2 years of happy memories can be enough to erase my 5 years of pains and hurt. But, you destroyed them. Nevertheless, I had greater dreams to send me off. You have a girl, but I have boys. Some things are meant to be fated, but never mean to be. You gave me hope and distinguish them in a flame of mist. I hate and thank you for them. I believe there will be another person who will sing, write me poems, draw and tender me with everlasting, loving care. You are the first and last to do that. But, my new chapter commerces from now on. You've lost me, boy. I've won myself, on the other hand.."
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