Life has let me down
1 Comments Published by grumbly_mon on Wednesday, November 15, 2006 at 9:48 PM.
I swear I’m completely clueless now.
I just deleted everything I typed half an hour ago. One click – and they’re all gone, forever. But, will life ever be like this?
I’m not happy at all. To be exact, my point of happiness died when I was 9 years old. From then on, everything became so fake. All along, nobody was true. Everything were just merely - lies. I realised that however hard I tried, it’s still useless. I couldn’t feel the reaching hands of sincerity. There is no purpose, at all.
Never.
I never spent my last 9 years properly. Life is not as satisfied ads I thought. People made up stories to build those walls of façade. So, what have I been doing so far? Honestly, there’s nothing much to say. Life is always just like this, isn’t it?
But, these days I really felt extremely out-of-place. This is the first time I’m feeling so disappointed in everything. Everyday was a detestable chore for me. I’m really very tired. Why are people so disgustingly fake? I felt disappointed. I’m wondering where I came from. I’m beginning to doubt everything, right from the start?
What if one day your mother told you that you are actually an orphan?
Can you believe that? I can.
Today, now, this very moment, I’m really breaking down. I’m really losing my way in life. Why can’t I just be freaking happy? Why? I really need to take a long break. I really feel terrible. But, why?
Those darkest years. They are still there. Now, they are still coming after me. Why can’t they just let me off for goodness sake? I’m really scared and frightened now. What have I done to deserve all these? What did I do? Can somebody please kindly tell me?
Please – stop torturing me.
I really had enough. It’s humiliating to be criticised. It’s tormenting to be on the running tracks at all time. It’s hurting to have all your friends leaving you overnight. It’s really saddening to lose your status, suddenly. It’s really painful to have your boyfriend die on you, one day. It’s really burdened to be shower with all responsibilities. It’s tiring to suffer fates you don’t deserve. It’s unfair to me. All along, it has never changed.
If only I could cut my wrists now..
I just deleted everything I typed half an hour ago. One click – and they’re all gone, forever. But, will life ever be like this?
I’m not happy at all. To be exact, my point of happiness died when I was 9 years old. From then on, everything became so fake. All along, nobody was true. Everything were just merely - lies. I realised that however hard I tried, it’s still useless. I couldn’t feel the reaching hands of sincerity. There is no purpose, at all.
Never.
I never spent my last 9 years properly. Life is not as satisfied ads I thought. People made up stories to build those walls of façade. So, what have I been doing so far? Honestly, there’s nothing much to say. Life is always just like this, isn’t it?
But, these days I really felt extremely out-of-place. This is the first time I’m feeling so disappointed in everything. Everyday was a detestable chore for me. I’m really very tired. Why are people so disgustingly fake? I felt disappointed. I’m wondering where I came from. I’m beginning to doubt everything, right from the start?
What if one day your mother told you that you are actually an orphan?
Can you believe that? I can.
Today, now, this very moment, I’m really breaking down. I’m really losing my way in life. Why can’t I just be freaking happy? Why? I really need to take a long break. I really feel terrible. But, why?
Those darkest years. They are still there. Now, they are still coming after me. Why can’t they just let me off for goodness sake? I’m really scared and frightened now. What have I done to deserve all these? What did I do? Can somebody please kindly tell me?
Please – stop torturing me.
I really had enough. It’s humiliating to be criticised. It’s tormenting to be on the running tracks at all time. It’s hurting to have all your friends leaving you overnight. It’s really saddening to lose your status, suddenly. It’s really painful to have your boyfriend die on you, one day. It’s really burdened to be shower with all responsibilities. It’s tiring to suffer fates you don’t deserve. It’s unfair to me. All along, it has never changed.
If only I could cut my wrists now..
Hi.. guess we're both feeling more or less the same. it's tiring,isnt it, to beat up our faces in the early morning and drench ourselves with cold courage to keep us thru the whole damned day? sigh... keep going you're going good. neverendindly