smallminded;

Sometimes..

It's always better to not think too much. If not, you will only find more doubts running inside your head. That kinda hurts, doesn't it? Your mind can burst. So, just watch it.

Happy is better than sad. At least, you get that satisfaction feeling. Getting moody 24/7 isn't really going to help much, either. You will feel old and grow fat. That's worse. Nah.. I don't wanna that.

In the long run, one must really cultivate that sense of motivation. Determination proves everything. If you are letting yourself go, then.. So be it. Nobody is going to help you, too. I just read this article from an old magazine, just now. After all, I have been wasting my life all these while. I have spent almost 5 years waiting for a somebody whom I knew will never come back to me, again. I'm just yet, another fool.

I don't deny it.

Actually I know I ought to move on long ago. It's time for me to leash out and embark on a brand new journey. No matter what resolutions or promises I have, I will never make it. Cos.. I have not be able to put down and the past. Never did I. I thought I did.. Yet, I didn't. I knew what problems lie ahead of me. I pretended I don't. I just want to act normal and behave as if nothing has ever happened before, in this life.

I'm not sure about others. But for me, I personally feel that I have went through heaps. People do not experience what I do. The past has always been torturing incidents. I grew up in a place where abnormal people are. I have no friends, let alone void deck childhood buddies. Since young, I need to travel back and fro just to spend only less than 3 days with my cousins and relatives. Singapore is still a foreign land for me. Even back in Malaysia, I'm still in a lost soul.

I'm sure what I'm trying to talk now. One thing for sure, at least I have the right to be stay happy and I will be.

Somehow..

I find it unfair. Why do I get to see so many 'bad' things in life? I know it's good to been through a lot. But, why me? It's really so unreasonable. However so, after thinking a while, I feel it's like hitting two birds with a stone. I grow up and is able to see things at more complex and unique angles in life. Also, if I don't through these, nobody will. I rather sacrifice myself and make everybody at ease. After all, my life can save the universe. I will do it.

Perhaps.. I sound so crap now. I admit it. But.. My face doesn't tell many things. Ya, so what's the point of saying anymore, outsiders? LOL.

Now as I recalled back.. I saw how I fell from the top to the bottom. But, I'm still striving hard now. I never give up hopes. Cos if I did, there will be nothing left for me to cringe onto. A rotten apple is still an apple. I will eat it in case it's being thrown away and wasted. There are still edible parts in the apple. Trust me..

I can forgo everything. Even though I still remembered, I will not bear any grudges. Cos I'm in no position to do so. Maybe people have their reasons to do. It's better to forgive and forget as usual. I don't mind, seriously.

I have already let go. Have you?

Good luck.

My exainations will finish in 4 days time. I need to hurry..

Goodbye.